Pregnancy brain. Is this for real or am I just going nuts?
About a month ago, I read a thought-provoking article about pregnancy brain. The article stated that there is no scientific evidence to prove that this condition actually exists. The conclusion was that pregnancy forgetfulness is due to exhaustion.
After two heartbreaking miscarriages, numerous invasive tests and one successful uterine surgery: I am pregnant. And, not only am I pregnant…I am half way through my pregnancy!
I must admit that the first half of this pregnancy was tough. I was completely frightened. Frightened to loose this baby and surprisingly enough…frightened to bond with it. I’m really hoping that from this point forward I can shout from the rooftops, “I am having this baby!”
My pregnancy will not be the carefree pregnancy that I had always imagined for myself; I once envisioned a pregnant lady briskly walking in a park or on a beach without a care in the world. I have had to embrace the fact that this slightly more terrifying situation is my own and that I must lay that old vision to rest. I cannot morn for something that had only existed in my mind. Now, I look graciously forward and do the best I can to remain calm. My daily goal is to create a safe and peaceful place for this baby to grow.
I have been given the gift of pregnancy and I promise that no matter how tough it gets, I will not take this pregnancy for granted.
So, here I am creating imaginary pregnancy symptoms.
A few months back, my doctor told me I could start trying for a baby again. These phantom symptoms emerge each time my husband and I try to conceive.
Why do people dress up their babies anyway? Aside from my weakest moments when I woefully wander a baby store alone, I purposefully avoid the world of oohing and aahing over ridiculous baby things.
A few days before my missed period I knew; the way a pregnant woman “just knows.” I was exhausted; my breasts were sore; and as I was driving home from Target, I felt like I was being suffocated by the overwhelming smell of the fabric softener that was packed way back in the trunk of my car. At 5 weeks gestation, I went to my doctor to confirm the pregnancy. At 6 weeks, on Father’s Day, I told my family. My sister gave me the book What To Expect When You Are Expecting; I began looking at cribs online; my husband and I chose a mural for the nursery wall. At 9 weeks it was over.